Suddenly Southern
by Maureen Duffin-Ward

-She's born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and cries when it's not her pattern
-Her hospital i.d. has charms on it
-Her diapers are 300 count
-Her stroller has curtains on it
-She's born with frosted blonde hair
-She cries with a Southern drawl
-She wears a cover-up in the birth canal
-She'll only be burped in the ladies room
-She thinks teething rings are "tacky"
-She's born with a magnolia pink manicure and pedicure
-She writes her own birth announcement